Dear Daddy Likey: Cheap Prom Shoes, Stat!

Winona,
I need some help. I need some prom shoes, stat. They need to be tall and semi-cheap. I have a little black dress (boring, I know). I also need to get them in the next two weeks. So, if you have any suggestions or good online shoe stores, tell me. Thank you!
Signed,
Shoeless Joe Jackson

Dear Shoeless Joe,
My mom somehow convinced me to walk another half-marathon yesterday, so just looking at high heels right now is enough to send shooting pains through my aching feet and cause me to screech at my boyfriend yet again to pretty please give me a foot massage it's all I desire in life and I've never asked for anything PLEASE...but that's OK, because you need shoes for your prom and I love you and therefore I will persevere!

Unfortunately, I have to start with a dire warning: cheap shoes=pain.

This is, of course, not an absolute--I'm sure many readers could regale me with stories of super comfy $15 heels from Payless, but when it comes to dancing the night away on the alleged Best Night of Your Life (I was shocked to discover, in the years following prom, that I would have better experiences than swaying awkwardly to R. Kelly's Ignition Remix), I can't, in good conscience, recommend a genuinely cheap shoe. I can, however, make up a quote and attribute it to Sun Tzu:

"Expensive heels are often better quality. Expensive heels go on sale. Find them."
~Sun Tzu

And find them we will. Thanks for the advice, Sunny!

So, I'm assuming that you want to spice up your little black dress with some show-stopping shoes--am I right? (If you watched too much Blue's Clues as a kid, this is where you would say "Yes, you are right!" out loud to the computer screen.)

I happen to think the classic prom pairing of black dress and metallic heels is quite striking and would be a fabulous option for you. I found a good selection of affordable metallic heels at Overstock.com, all formerly expensive. Here's once each of many silver and bronze options:

Unlisted by Kenneth Cole Peep Toe Slingbacks, $34.99, overstock.com

Liliana by Adi Jaime, $29.99, overstock.com

Another Overstock find, I posted about these shoes awhile back and a few commenters described feeling such a passionate and guttural love for them that they had to take a minute to calm down, breathe into a paper bag and remind themselves that they are only shoes. And guess what? They used to be expensive, and they are now on sale:

MIA "Venice," $44, overstock.com

Speaking of passionate, guttural reactions, these would be so amazingly gorgeous with a little black dress that I need to go find a paper bag for myself:

Nine West "Luxious" (So what the name sounds like Fergie forgot to use spellcheck during one of her songs--they're ADORABLE and on sale!), $69

These ones aren't on sale, but they're the same price and would be so striking with your dress:

Chinese Laundry Alfina Sandal, $69, macys.com

Also try:
Endless.com--free overnight shipping!
Zappos--free shipping!
Payless.com--Don't say I didn't warn you!

And check out the sale sections of:
Aldo.com
Ninewest.com
Nordstrom.com
Macys.com